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·When
it came my turn to leave Vietnam..... |
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When it came my turn
to leave Vietnam, I
understood what I
had seen in those
men that day and I
knew exactly what
they were watching
for. We continued to
listen and watch for
the signs of
incoming enemy fire
just like they did.
We knew that we were
not safe until we
had left Vietnamese
airspace. Anything
could still happen. |
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· Hanoi
Hannah is North Vietnam’s version |
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“Hanoi Hannah is
North Vietnam’s
version. I hear she
went to college in
the States. They say
she has information
on our troop
movements before we
do. She keeps
telling the guys of
1/9 where they’re
going and to make
sure they have a
good dinner that
night because the
next day they’re
going to die.” |
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· Incoming enemy rounds also landed one after
another - all day long |
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Incoming enemy
rounds also landed
one after another -
all day long. Mortar
after mortar landed
all around the
airstrip. Every time
I heard the thunk
of a mortar in
the distance, I got
real anxious. I
always knew when a
mortar was in the
air, but I never
knew where it would
land. There was
nothing we could do
but wait for it to
land and hope that
it wasn’t on us. It
was a feeling of
total helplessness. |
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· I said I wouldn’t become an animal over
here. Damn! |
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“I said I wouldn’t
become an animal
over here. Damn!
Here I am, not even
3 months in country.
I’m living in the
mud, peeing myself
in the rain to stay
warm, my ass is
rotting off and I
write home bragging
about how we killed
a pregnant woman. I
am a damn animal.” |
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· I
looked out at the mountains.... |
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I looked out at the
mountains that used
to be lush and
covered with growth.
They were once
beautiful and now
they were scarred
from the continual
bombings. I had to
wonder if I was just
like those mountains
- being scarred
mentally from being
under continual
assault. I looked up
just as a C130
started to release a
load on the Drop
Zone. “At least
we’ll eat tonight,”
I thought to myself. |
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· We
would then have to go out there..... |
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We would then have
to go out there,
pull the supplies
into the trenches,
detangle the chutes
from the wire, and
mend the fence. And
– oh yeah! – Not get
shot. |
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· We
just had to do all we could to stay alive. |
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We just had to do
all we could to stay
alive. That meant
paying attention to
what was going on
around us - being
vigilant - that was
all we could do. |
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· We
had only been in position for an hour or so... |
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We had only been in
position for an hour
or so, when I saw a
shadow, dressed all
in black, crawling
in front of our
position. Mike was
next to me. I poked
him and pointed to
the road. He saw the
man crawl out of
sight down the road.
Just then William
and Tom spotted
someone crawling
behind us. I looked
back to the road and
saw someone else
crawling along the
road. |
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· In
that moment, everything suddenly went silent for me |
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In that moment,
everything suddenly
went silent for me.
My stomach dropped
to the floor like a
rock. I felt an
enormous wave of
pure rage wash over
me, immediately
followed by another
enormous wave of
overwhelming guilt.
I should have
done something
to help Tom. I
really wanted to
cry, but I couldn’t
even do that. I just
did not know how to
process the
immensity of it all.
I felt like I was in
some sort of surreal
movie. |
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· War
was moments of mind-boggling insanity... |
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War was moments of
mind-boggling
insanity followed by
hours of
mind-numbing
boredom. If the
incoming fire didn’t
drive us crazy, the
boredom would. Humor
was always a good
way to try and
maintain at least a
modicum of our
sanity. |
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· But
looking out at the moon this time... |
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But looking out at
the moon this time,
it dawned on me;
this might be the
last time I ever
looked at the moon
from anywhere. Was I
really alright with
dying? |
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